i found the most disgusting photo on my phone and i can’t stop sending it to everyone i know, so here it is. i think it’s glorious and foul. 

i found the most disgusting photo on my phone and i can’t stop sending it to everyone i know, so here it is. i think it’s glorious and foul. 

@1 week ago with 1 note
#pretzels 

red moon over the ocean, regular moon over my house.

@1 month ago
forgotten phone pixx—
this one was a sad goodbye 

forgotten phone pixx—

this one was a sad goodbye 

@2 months ago with 2 notes

real time reaction of me watching the music video for ‘turn down for what.’ idk why i did that. i’ve been alone for four days.

@3 months ago with 2 notes

party aftermath = dirty, trampled, stinky house in the morning.

@4 months ago with 3 notes
#it's ok! #it's worth it! 

Paul FEIG

Oh, sure, there are men who truly make us laugh. None come to mind at the moment, but I know history has provided us with a few. Euripides was sort of a jokester. English poet John Donne got off a corker every once in a while. But in general, the male species’ sense of humor seldom rises above the enjoyment of watching one of their own take a swift shot to the testicles.

It makes sense. Men are genetically programmed to hunt and gather. It is they who must impregnate the herd and protect the collective. And so it’s only logical that their brains would need to possess lower humor standards in order to pass the hours entertainingly with their cohorts while stalking that night’s dinner or standing guard against the enemy. Imagine if they had to amuse their fellow warriors with jokes and banter that were actually funny. That impossibly high standard would leave them in such despair that they would become easy prey. Imagine the despondent hero, now tribeless, wandering the wastelands and muttering in tragic self-awareness, “I can’t believe I thought those limericks about that guy from Nantucket were funny.”

And so nature has provided humankind with two biological safeguards: 1) an intellectual anomaly that allows males to believe that they and their friends are funny, and 2) a survival instinct that impels women to laugh at men’s jokes. As long as the men feel good about themselves, no matter how delusionary those feelings may be, the tribe will continue to function.

Is modern society now ready to transition away from the Myth of Male Hilarity? After all, today’s world has erased most of the survival needs that once required a woman to inflate the comedic self-worth of the men around her. Grocery stores, police departments and in vitro fertilization perform the functions once reserved for her Y-chromosome counterparts. The 21st-century woman is finally free to reveal her comedic superiority and inform her penised inferiors that they will never again be permitted to make that “in my pants” joke.

Alas, women’s evolved nature, along with their desire to avoid the dystopian nightmare of men trying even harder to be funny, causes them to withhold the soul-crushing revelation of masculine jocular inferiority. But many more women now also will continue to follow bravely in the footsteps of those pioneering females who elicited laughter before them, risking societal harmony in the name of making the world a more hilarious place.

So, hail to thee, funny women. Continue to remove the bushels from your bright and uproarious lights, and we in the know will laugh politely at the “funny men” as we wink to one another behind their desperate but well-meaning backs. It’s just the right thing to do.”

— Paul Feig http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/paul-feig-why-men-arent-449025
cuz i just read a super old gross article in vanity fair called “why women aren’t funny” and then i was like “WHERE’S THE BACKLASH?” and then i found it.
@2 weeks ago with 3 notes

i saw the sunrise on an airplane for the first time last week!

@2 months ago with 3 notes
#cool #at first i tagged it 'grool' but then i clicked on it #and it's NOT THE SAME AS THE MEAN GIRLS QUOTE 

some forgotten phone pix!

@2 months ago with 2 notes
Mataytay’s last night in Baltimore

Mataytay’s last night in Baltimore

@3 months ago
@4 months ago with 1 note
#lorde